Find a bank for me to rob! ON nD campus a H says”I can see mself going here”! Buds just coming out channeling Dad…..

Translation:

Find a bank for me to rob! On [Notre Dame] campus and Hannah says, “I can see myself going here!” [God, her father is such an asshole.]

See all issues here.

Great! Have a gr8t time

“Eight” ends with a T. Like you typed three words earlier. Just saying.

See all issues here.

C m

I get a few of these a week. It’s her textspeak for “call me”. Which she texts to me. Using her cellular telephone. To implore me to then call her on said device.

It’s the sole reason we instituted these, however briefly.

See all issues here.

WHat scientest died@u of c,?

My mom is a doctor. She takes peoples’ lives in her hands every day.

See all issues here.

“were u at?”

Not sure why she felt quotes were necessary. Or how she found them on her phone.

See all issues here.

Want to he

My response: USE YOUR WORDS.

See all issues here.

[blank]

One that frequently comes in. I hate it when I send a text having forgotten to type anything at all.

See all issues here.

Call me when you get this. I have a minor question to ask you.

Call me ASAP. I have an urgent question to ask you.

Messages that we coerced her to allow to have my sister put in her phone. They’re boring but intelligible. She’s since relapsed into MAspeak.

See all issues here.

H n y!

“Happy New Year!”

See all issues here.

R home n btr

Something about butter.

See all issues here.